its so sad is it.
that the people i see everyday, meet everyday
the people whom i laugh with all the time
are simply not the ones who i can communicate with.
to you: just wanna say that the recent days we've spent together made me realised that i actually did miss you alot.
i just wished i could turn back time, wished that you could stay on, i wished you were always there.
or isit that only if we are separated then i can actually really appreciate you.

you know, i have been running away from reality
i mean. yes i have been facing up to the problem
but other than that i have never been able to bring myself to talk about it.
i hate to admit it. but im scared.
losing someone so dear to you is even more scary that your own death
the kind of fear is really indescrible
the fear makes everything else seem so small, so blurry, so unreal
and you just totally lose it and do ridiculous stuff.
do anything that you think that is possible to salvage the situation
like remember trival dreams and thinking that they actually mean something about the future
pausing over every single thing you do [things like what time to sleep]..hoping that -shrugs- sleeping at the right time would actually do something.
and all the crying yourself to sleep.
it just seems so ridiculous that i still have to wake up and go to school.
if i had a choice i would just spend the time with my loved ones.

we can all be happy if we talk about happy stuff
but once you pick the wrong subject. that's it.
i've learnt my lesson

nobody will understand me. just as i dont understand anybody.